This Was S3XUAL Life in the BIBLE: MARRIAGE, CONCUBINAGE and PROHIBITIONS

There is a topic that is almost never discussed in our churches—a matter that is present throughout the Bible but seems too uncomfortable to be preached from the pulpit. Today, we are going to open this sacred book and discover what sexual life was really like in biblical times without pretense or false morals. After so many years of studying the scriptures, there is something that really catches my attention, and that is how we modern Christians treat certain biblical themes as if they were radioactive nuclear bombs. Sexuality in the Bible is that topic that makes many pastors turn red as tomatoes and quickly turn the page when they are reading certain passages during worship. But the Bible is not a shy book at all. The scriptures speak of sexuality with a frankness that would even surprise us today, not in a vulgar or immoral way, but in a very natural and realistic way about how intimate relationships functioned in those times.

When we read the Old Testament, especially the historical books like Genesis, Judges, Samuel, and Kings, we encounter stories that would make more than one person blush. We have patriarchs with multiple wives, concubines, stories of sexual violence, prostitution, incest, and a series of situations that we definitely wouldn’t see in a Christian soap opera. The Bible isn’t telling these stories to scandalize us or to promote immorality; it is showing us the raw reality of what life was like in those times with all its highs and lows, virtues and vices. It is as if God were telling us that this is humanity as it is, without makeup, without Instagram filters, and without artificial sweeteners. That brutal honesty of the scriptures is precisely what makes them so historically reliable.

In our era, where we are supposedly very liberal and open about sexual topics, it turns out we are more prudish than the ancient Hebrews when talking about these matters. The ancient Israelites spoke of sexuality without pretense because it was a natural part of life. Marriage, procreation, and intimate relationships were all seen as divine blessings and as part of God’s plan for humanity. The first commandment that God gives to humanity in Genesis 1:28 is not “thou shalt not kill” or “thou shalt not steal.” The first commandment is to be fruitful and multiply. God is saying from the beginning to have intimate relationships, have children, and enjoy the sexuality that He created. As with everything in life, there were rules, limits, and a moral framework within which this sexuality should develop. Those rules weren’t capricious or arbitrary; they had very specific purposes related to the physical, mental, social, and spiritual health of God’s people.

When we study these biblical themes, we cannot do it with a 21st-century mentality. We have to understand the historical, cultural, and social context of those times, which was a completely different world from ours. For example, marriage in those times wasn’t primarily a romantic matter as we understand it today; it was an economic, political, and social alliance between families. Romantic love could develop later, but it wasn’t the starting point. In the ancient world of the Middle East, having multiple wives wasn’t necessarily a sign of lust or immorality; it was often a matter of economic and social survival. Imagine living in a society where there were no pension systems, no social security, and where women couldn’t work outside the home. In that context, being married was literally a matter of life or death for a woman. That is why many of the biblical laws about marriage and sexuality were aimed at protecting the most vulnerable in society, especially women and orphans.

To understand marriage in the Bible, one must completely forget everything seen in Hollywood movies about biblical romance. The reality was very different from what we imagine. First of all, marriage in biblical times was primarily a commercial transaction between families; it was a very serious contract between the bride’s father and the future husband or his family. When Jacob wants to marry Rachel in Genesis 29, he doesn’t go directly to propose to her as we would today. He goes to talk to Laban, Rachel’s father, and tells him to give him his daughter as a wife. Laban responds that it is better that he give her to him than to another man. In this instance, the woman has no voice or vote in the matter, which was a normal practice of those times, although it sounds terrible to modern ears. Families were economic survival units, and when a daughter married, she stopped being an economic burden to her family and became part of another family. This explains the existence of the dowry or the bride price. Exodus 22:16 states that if a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride price for her to be his wife. This established price for marriage was not like buying livestock at a market; rather, it served as compensation to the bride’s family for the loss of her labor and her contribution to the household, offering a form of economic security for the woman.

Although marriages were arranged, this did not mean that true love could not develop between the spouses. The Bible contains beautiful examples of couples who came to love each other deeply. Isaac and Rebecca are a perfect example. In Genesis 24, Abraham sends his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Isaac. Eliezer finds Rebecca, makes all the arrangements with the family, and only then does Isaac meet his future wife. Genesis 24:67 says that Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, took Rebecca as his wife, and loved her. First they married, then they loved, which was the natural order in those times.

Another fundamental aspect of biblical marriage was sexual purity before marriage, which was extremely important, especially for women. Deuteronomy 22 outlines very strict laws about this. If a woman came to marriage without being a virgin, the consequences could be terrible. Deuteronomy 22:20-21 states that if the accusation is true and evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death. This sounds brutal, but in a society where lineage and inheritance were fundamental, sexual purity guaranteed that children were legitimate heirs. Men also had responsibilities and could not simply abandon their wives for any reason. Deuteronomy 22:19 mentions that if a man falsely accused his wife of not being a virgin, he had to pay a fine to her father and could not divorce her all his days.

Marriage also possessed a profound spiritual dimension. In Ephesians 5:32, Paul states that marriage is a great mystery that represents the relationship between Christ and the church. Although marriage was primarily a practical institution, God always intended it to be beautiful and pleasant, and the Song of Songs serves as proof that God blesses intimacy and passion in marriage. The marriage ceremony itself was very different from what we know today, as there were no churches or officiating pastors. It was primarily a family and community celebration where the union was publicly recognized. In John 2, Jesus participates in the wedding at Cana, demonstrating that these celebrations could last several days and were occasions of great joy and festivity.

Polygamy is a topic that always generates much controversy and confusion among Christians. Before anyone gets scandalized, it helps to understand why some of the holiest men in the Old Testament had multiple wives. Abraham had Sarah as his primary wife but also had relations with Hagar, the Egyptian servant. Jacob married Leah and Rachel and also had children with the servants Bilhah and Zilpah. David had multiple wives, and Solomon went to the extreme with 700 wives and 300 concubines, according to 1 Kings 11:3. The question arises whether God approved of polygamy. The Bible records that these men practiced polygamy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that God approved or promoted it. From the beginning, Genesis 2:24 establishes God’s original plan, stating that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. It uses the singular word “wife,” not “wives.” Jesus confirms this in Matthew 19:3-6, reiterating that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and that the two shall become one flesh.

If the original plan was monogamy, several historical and social factors explain why God allowed polygamy. In the ancient world, having multiple wives was primarily a matter of survival and social status, rather than uncontrolled sexual desire. It was about ensuring offspring, forming political alliances, and providing economic protection to women. In a society where wars were constant and many men died young, many widows and orphans were left without protection. Allowing a prosperous man to marry multiple women was a way to ensure that these women had sustenance and safety. In agricultural cultures, having many children was fundamental for fieldwork and for caring for parents in old age, and multiple wives meant more possibilities for offspring.

Careful reading of the stories of these polygamous men reveals that there were almost always problems, jealousy, and conflicts in these families. Sarah was jealous of Hagar when she became pregnant by Abraham, as Genesis 16:4 notes that when Hagar saw she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes. Jacob’s case is even more dramatic, as Leah and Rachel were in constant competition for his love. Genesis 29:31 states that when the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. David’s wives also had conflicts, and 1 Kings 11:4 tells us that Solomon’s wives turned his heart after other gods. Polygamy brought more problems than blessings, which is one of the ways God teaches us by showing the consequences of straying from His original plan. In the New Testament, when the qualifications for church leaders are established, Paul specifies in 1 Timothy 3:2 that a bishop must be the husband of one wife, marking the standard for the Christian era.

The Old Testament also contained specific regulations about how to treat multiple wives. Deuteronomy 21:15-17 outlines laws about inheritance rights when a man has children from different wives, specifying that a father could not favor the son of the beloved wife over the son of the unloved wife when distributing the firstborn’s inheritance. This shows that although God allowed polygamy, He established protections to prevent injustices. The situation regarding concubines was even more complex. The fact that the Bible records these practices doesn’t mean it recommends them for us today. The Bible is an honest book that shows humanity as it really is, allowing us to learn from both the successes and failures of those who preceded us.

Concubines represented a very real aspect of life in biblical times. A concubine was basically a second-class wife who had intimate relations with the master of the house and could have children with him, but lacked the same legal or social status as a legitimate wife. In many cases, concubines were slaves or servants who had been elevated to this position, or women from poor families who accepted the role to ensure economic survival. The first case of concubinage in the Bible is that of Abraham with Hagar. Genesis 16:3 says that Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian and gave her to her husband to be his wife after they had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan. Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham because she herself could not give him children. In those times, having offspring was so important that a barren wife could offer her servant to her husband so he could have children through her. When Hagar became pregnant, she began to despise Sarah, showing that despite status differences, basic human emotions like jealousy, pride, and competition were still present.

Jacob also had concubines. Bilhah and Zilpah, the servants of Rachel and Leah, became his concubines and bore him children. In Genesis 30:3, Rachel tells Jacob to go into her maid Bilhah so that she may bear a child on her knees, allowing Rachel to have children through her. David had several concubines in addition to his wives, as 2 Samuel 5:13 notes that David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem after he had come from Hebron. The most extreme case remains Solomon, whom 1 Kings 11:3 mentions had 700 wives, princesses, and 300 concubines, which brought terrible consequences because these women turned his heart after other gods.

Although concubines had an inferior status to wives, they weren’t simply sexual objects and possessed certain rights and protections under the law. Exodus 21:7-11 outlines specific regulations stating that if a man took a concubine and then married another woman, he could not diminish the food, clothing, or conjugal rights of the concubine. Concubines could also have children who were recognized as legitimate offspring of the father, though they generally didn’t have the same inheritance rights as the children of the primary wives. A dramatic example occurs in Judges 11 with Jephthah, the son of a prostitute, whose half-brothers threw him out of the house, stating he would not inherit because he was the son of another woman. Yet Jephthah became one of the judges of Israel and delivered the people from the Ammonites.

A tragic story in Judges 19 involves the concubine of a Levite who was violated by evil men of Gibeah. This story illustrates how vulnerable a concubine’s position could be and how violence against women was a serious problem. The concubine was handed over by her own master to these perverse men to protect himself, and they abused her all night until she died. This horrible event led to a civil war in Israel and almost exterminated the tribe of Benjamin. The narrative shows the terrible consequences of moral degradation and a lack of respect for human dignity rather than approving of the practice. In the New Testament, the concept of concubinage disappears completely. Jesus raised the standard of marriage, and Paul taught in 1 Corinthians 7:2 that because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband, establishing monogamy as the Christian ideal with no place for second-class relationships. God gradually revealed His perfect will, regulating existing cultural practices in the Old Testament and establishing the final standard of one man and one woman in the New Testament.

Levirate marriage is another practice that sounds completely strange to modern ears, obligating a man to marry his brother’s widow if the brother died without having children. This was a serious legal and social obligation established in Deuteronomy 25:5-6, which states that if brothers dwell together and one dies without a son, the widow shall not marry a stranger outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall marry her and perform the duty of a husband’s brother, and the firstborn son shall succeed to the name of the dead brother so that his name is not blotted out of Israel. Continuing the family lineage was fundamental for economic and social survival. If a man died without children, his name disappeared, his inheritance was lost, and his widow was left vulnerable. Levirate marriage solved these problems by ensuring the firstborn son carried the dead brother’s name, inherited his properties, and protected the widow economically.

The Bible provides several examples of this, such as the story of Tamar in Genesis 38. Judah had three sons: Er, Onan, and Shelah. Er married Tamar but died without children. Judah told Onan to marry his brother’s wife and raise up an heir, but Onan spilled his seed on the ground to avoid giving offspring to his brother. This displeased God, and He put Onan to death as well because Onan enjoyed the sexual pleasure but refused the responsibility to his brother. Judah then told Tamar to wait for Shelah to grow up, but failed to keep his promise when Shelah became an adult. Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute, seduced Judah without his recognition, and became pregnant. When Judah found out, he accused her of prostitution and ordered her to be burned, but Tamar produced his seal, cord, and staff as proof of authorship. Judah acknowledged that she had been more righteous than he because he did not give her to his son Shelah. This shows how women in vulnerable positions sometimes found ingenious ways to protect their rights.

Another famous example is found in the book of Ruth. When Ruth’s husband died, she went with her mother-in-law Naomi to Bethlehem, where she met Boaz, a relative of her late husband. Boaz was a kinsman-redeemer responsible for caring for the widow according to the customs of Israel. In Ruth 3:9, Ruth asks Boaz to take his maidservant under his wing because he is a close relative, which was a cultural way of proposing marriage and asking him to fulfill his responsibility. Boaz accepted, but a closer relative held the primary right. In Ruth 4, Boaz negotiates with this relative at the city gate. When the relative realizes that redeeming the property also requires marrying Ruth, he refuses out of concern for his own inheritance. Boaz then married Ruth, and from this union was born Obed, the father of Jesse, the father of David, making Ruth the Moabite an ancestor of King David and Jesus Christ.

Deuteronomy 25:7-10 established a procedure for cases where a man refused the levirate obligation. The widow could take him before the elders of the city, and if he insisted on refusing, she would remove his sandal, spit in his face, and declare that this is what shall be done to the man who will not build up his brother’s house. His family would then be known as the house of him who had his sandal removed, which carried great social shame. This practice protected widows, preserved lineages, and kept properties within families. When the Sadducees later questioned Jesus about the levirate marriage, He responded that in the resurrection people neither marry nor are given in marriage, showing that these earthly institutions are temporary.

The Bible also outlines explicit sexual prohibitions, notably in Leviticus 18, which serves as a manual of what God considers unacceptable. Leviticus 18:6 establishes the general principle that none shall approach anyone near of kin to uncover nakedness. Incest was totally prohibited, meaning relations were forbidden with a mother, stepmother, sister, half-sister, granddaughter, aunt, daughter-in-law, or brother’s wife. Leviticus 18:8 forbids uncovering the nakedness of a father’s wife, and verse 9 adds the same restriction for a sister, whether born at home or elsewhere. Beyond moral reasons, these rules protected genetic health and social stability, as marriages between close relatives increased the possibility of genetic defects. They also protected the family structure from chaotic relationships.

Homosexuality was also prohibited, as Leviticus 18:22 states that you shall not lie with a male as with a woman, calling it an abomination, a directive repeated in Leviticus 20:13 with the penalty of death. Bestiality was strictly forbidden in Leviticus 18:23, which states that no one shall mate with any animal to defile themselves, calling it a perversion. Prostitution was condemned, especially the sacred prostitution common in pagan cults. Deuteronomy 23:17 states that there shall be no ritual harlot among the daughters of Israel or a perverted one among the sons of Israel. Adultery carried the death penalty for both the man and the woman under Leviticus 20:10.

Specific prohibitions existed regarding relations during a woman’s menstruation, as Leviticus 18:19 forbids approaching a woman to uncover her nakedness during her customary impurity. This was a matter of health and ritual purity that helped prevent infections and diseases in an era without modern medical knowledge. Child sacrifice was also prohibited; Leviticus 18:21 forbids letting descendants pass through the fire to Molech. This verse appears amidst sexual prohibitions because these sacrifices were frequently connected to pagan sexual rituals that combined violence, idolatry, and perversion. God established these strict rules to protect people from physical, emotional, and spiritual harm, ensuring family stability and preventing the moral degradation that led surrounding pagan nations to destruction. Leviticus 18:24-25 warns against defiling oneself with these things, stating that the nations being cast out were defiled, causing the land to vomit out its inhabitants. These laws were designed to create a healthy, just, and prosperous society through divine wisdom.

In the ancient world, prostitution was often integrated into religious worship within pagan temples dedicated to fertility goddesses like Ashtoreth, Asherah, and Aphrodite. Worshippers believed that having sexual relations with temple prostitutes would invoke the blessings of the gods upon their crops, flocks, and personal fertility. The temples of Aphrodite in Corinth held more than a thousand sacred prostitutes, a practice considered normal and respectable in Greek culture. Baal, the Canaanite god of fertility, also had temples where men and women prostituted themselves to ensure the fertility of the land.

This combination of idolatry and promiscuity was one of the greatest temptations Israel faced. In Numbers 25, the people of Israel began to commit harlotry with the women of Moab and participated in the sacrifices to their gods. Verse 3 states that Israel was joined to Baal of Peor, and the anger of the Lord was aroused, resulting in a plague that killed 24,000 Israelites. The plague stopped only when Phinehas the priest executed an Israelite man who brought a Midianite woman into his tent in front of the community. These sexual cults degraded human sexuality, turning a sacred expression of love between spouses into a mechanical religious act.

The Old Testament prophets constantly denounced these practices. Jeremiah 2:20 uses prostitution as a metaphor for spiritual infidelity while referring literally to the sexual cults practiced on every high hill and under every green tree. Ezekiel 16 describes Jerusalem as a prostitute giving herself to passersby, targeting both idol worship and the accompanying sexual practices. Several kings of Israel and Judah promoted these cults. Rehoboam allowed sodomites in the land, as 1 Kings 14:24 notes that there were perverted persons who followed the abominations of the nations. Manasseh was especially perverse, and 2 Kings 21:7 notes that he set a carved image of Asherah inside the very temple where the Lord had said He would put His name forever. Conversely, righteous kings like Asa fought these practices by banishing perverted persons and removing the idols made by their fathers.

Human sexuality in biblical times cannot be understood through a modern lens. The biblical accounts provide a raw and authentic look at relationships, marriage contracts, polygamy, concubinage, and cultural obligations like the levirate marriage. The scriptures record these historical realities honestly, showing human imperfections while tracing a path toward the spiritual standards of mutual respect and monogamy emphasized in later teachings. By exploring these ancient social structures, laws, and challenges, we gain a clearer understanding of the historical framework that shaped ancient society and the preservation of its families.

To expand further on the historical dynamics of the ancient Near East, it is essential to recognize how closely interwoven daily survival, law, and religious practices were. In societies dominated by agricultural cycles and constant tribal warfare, the continuity of the family unit was the absolute priority. This priority explains why biblical narratives often feature genealogical records alongside legal codes. A family line that ended meant the permanent loss of ancestral land, which was considered a tragic breach of the covenant inheritance. The legal mechanisms encountered in the text—whether the strict penalties for marital infidelity or the specific provisions for inheritance among children of multiple wives—were designed to preserve order in a tribal environment where chaos meant extinction.

Furthermore, the tension between the practices of the surrounding cultures and the distinct calling of the Israelites is a recurring motif. The pagan fertility rituals were not merely alternative religious choices; they represented an entirely different worldview where human beings attempted to manipulate divine forces through physical acts. The biblical prohibitions sought to establish a counter-cultural framework where human dignity and sexuality were grounded in a personal covenant with God rather than commercial or ritual exploitation. By enforcing boundaries around the family unit and prohibiting practices common in Egypt and Canaan, the legal codes aimed to cultivate a society characterized by stability, health, and distinct moral accountability.

This historical context sheds light on why certain narratives are preserved in all their disturbing detail. The text does not sanitize the failures of foundational figures like Judah or David; instead, it illustrates the structural complications and personal grief that resulted from departing from the ideal order. By analyzing these accounts within their proper historical setting, readers can appreciate the complex reality of ancient life and the gradual progression toward a unified standard of fidelity and protection for all members of the community.